Experience and Responsibility

Can you believe that one fourth of our school year is nearly over?  It seemed like only a couple weeks ago parents were bringing their children into the building with new backpacks and an armload of supplies--new crayons, paper, pencils, scissors, etc.  The excitement of what the new school year was going to bring was in the air and for some it may have been overwhelming.  It didn't take long (just hours) and the questions arose: How much work will I have?  Where do I put my work when I'm done?  When is this due?  What do I do when I'm done?  Do I have to take this home if I'm not finished?  And those are just a few!  Amazingly enough, those questions have been and are answered on a regular basis.  Even more amazing is how well kids learn to adapt to new routines of the classroom, and they do it on their own. 

One of the greatest experiences for a child is the feeling of independence and accomplishment.  These are things parents want for their children.  One step toward this is for your child to be dropped off at the school door and come into the building and classroom in the morning on their own and to be picked up in the parking lot after school.  They know the routine each morning and at the end of the day. 

Sometimes this move toward independence means they might forget to take home books or unfinished work, forget to bring it back, or they turn in homework late or receive a "bad" grade.  Interestingly enough, experiencing things like this was mentioned in a recent article I read in Instructor magazine (Nov./Dec.).  Below are some excerpts taken from this article:

"Experiencing what happens when you forget your homework or receive a bad grade is exactly what kids need to develop a sense of responsibility and self-mastery.  Nothing can be more wrenching for a parent than to see their child in pain, but sheltering kids from the inevitable hardships of life hurts them more. 'All children need to foster their independence.'"

Continuing on, "Kids have to learn how to deal with negative feelings when they're young, so when they're older they can deal with those feelings appropriately.....  [A] mediocre grade can be a blessing, as it's an opportunity to teach kids the consequences of not studying or not paying attention in class." 

We are all interested in a child's success and well-being, but believe it or not, it's often our own anxieties as parents that's really what causes us to "over-help" our children.  It's easy to do and hard to stop.  Praise their accomplishments and discuss their challenges.  You'll be amazed and proud of what they can do and learn from the point when you say, "Goodbye" in the morning and "Hello, how was your day?" after school.  All from the parking lot.